America

Travel To Relax – Welcome To America with Gad Elmaleh and Ron Livingston

Welcome To America with Gad Elmaleh and Ron Livingston

(Crowd noise) – Passport. – Hi. – You were born in Morocco? – Yes, exactly. – Why? – I guess because my parents were there both at the same time
(laughs), I'm kidding.

– So a Muslim, then? – No, I'm actually Jewish. Born in an Arab country but I'm Jewish. – So how did you understand
what the other kids were saying? – I speak Arabic and I speak
Hebrew also and French. – Alright, I got three boxes.

I got English, Spanish, and Other. Other? – Okay, yeah. – What is the purpose of your
trip to the United States? – Living the American Dream? – Yeah, we don't do that anymore. What do you do? – I'm a standup comedian.

– Let's hear a joke. – I just flew 12 hours and
I'm jet-lagged and I'm tired. – You mean your arms? – Sorry? – Your arms are tired? – No. – That would be a joke.

– What kind of joke is that? – Because you flew from France. – Wait, why– – Who shot Lincoln? – Steven Spielberg or
he, did he just produce? I don't know. – Who chopped down the cherry tree? – I don't know, sir, I just got here. I was not there, I– – Can you dab? – No, what? – Dab.

– Sir, I told you I was on the plane coming to the airport to
(coughs) sorry (coughs). – That's a very good dab, excellent dab. Alright, when I say,
Wassup, what do you say? – I'm fine. – No, when I say, Wassup, what do you say? – Oh, yeah, wassup? – Wassup.

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– Wassup. – Wassup. – Wassup. – Sing something American – (singing) Is it too
late now to say I'm sorry? – No, Bieber is Canadian.

– Bieber is Canadian? – Yeah. – (Singing) I need a one dance – Canadian. – That's Drake. – Canadian.

Something American, c'mon. – (Singing) My land is your land, your land is my land, from California– (crash) Sir this is a little excessive, okay. No, don't do this to me, okay? Can I ask you one question,
do you know who I am? You don't know who I am. Google me and you'll
see who the **** I am.

Okay, guys, sir do you know who I am? No? Do you know who I am? No? You don't, okay nobody knows. Okay, Google me, I'm big, I'm tremendous. I make more money than
all of you guys combined. Losers, Patrol whatever.

– Sir, you're being an ******* right now. And there's nothing
more American than that. Hey, **** you. – **** you too, sir.

Merci. – Passport. Vanessa. What's your real name?.

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